Tradition

Recommended listening: Tradition from Fiddler on the Roof
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Lately, the presence of traditions of all sorts has been growing increasingly apparent in my life. Last weekend I went to Turnabout, a dance in the spring that is more casual than other dances (Homecoming and Prom -- which are also full of traditions) where the girls ask the boys. This dance is a tradition at my school as well as many others. For our version of Turnabout the Marching Band decides on a theme, hires a live band, decorates the cafeteria according to the theme, and encourages students to dress accordingly.
Then there are the traditions outside of high school. The way we celebrate holidays, the manner in which we approach significant life events, or even smaller daily rituals.
After my interview with Emory University alum this morning, where I marveled at some of the traditions (such as a giant Coca-Cola shot the student body does together), I truly began to think about why traditions play such a critical role in our lives.

Tradition in my life
Personally, I love most of the traditions in my life. I enjoy all the Jewish holidays where I dress up, occasionally go to synagog, and then eat a delicious meal with my entire family. I love school traditions of getting decked out for spirit days and assemblies, going to dances and parades, and this year having the privilege to chant "Seniors! Seniors" whenever we find it necessary. It may be the nostalgia of leaving home kicking in early, but for some reason every chance I get to engage in some sort of silly custom, I relish it.
One of my favorite and most important traditions is the 4th of July which I always spend with two of my best friends Corie and Sarmel (her real name is Sarah). Although we've never gone to school together, we met in elementary school performing in local musical theatre productions. Ever since then, we've been best friends. Despite the distance and increasingly busy schedules we always make it a point to share the 4th together. Our day is packed, starting with the community pancake breakfast in the morning, then parade in the afternoon, and fireworks at night. The day is always punctuated with tons of hilarious stories, interesting run-ins with old friends, and plenty of food and laughs. More than any other times I've shared with them, my memories of the 4th always stick because the progression from year to year is always so incredible and the reliability of our traditions strengthens our friendship.

Traditions: Something to hold on to
Like I mentioned earlier, I think the reason I've noticed traditions so much lately is because I value them now more than ever. As I think about moving on to the next step of my life, I cling to traditions to create a sense of consistency despite other changes. Even when it comes to looking for a college, I feel comforted when universities have similar customs to those I enjoy in high school, or other unique rituals that I can see myself grasping on to.
I don't want to be blinded, however, by the role traditions play in my own life, because traditions are different for everyone.
What do traditions do for you? What are some of your traditions? How/what makes such traditions meaningful?

Every heart that has beat strongly and cheerfully has left a hopeful impulse behind it in the world, and bettered the tradition of mankind.
Robert Louis Stevenson

The Power of Music

Recommended listening: You decide! Comment with some of your favorite songs from 2011 :)
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In honor of the Grammy Awards last night, I thought I would try something new and create a list blog. Throughout my blog thus far, every one of my posts has been named after a song. Without ever stating it explicitly, I've made it pretty clear that music plays a critical role in my life and shapes who I am. I get my music from Kairos CDs my friends have made me, musical soundtracks, and Pandora Radio. When I'm working on homework, spending time alone, or driving I typically enjoy chill, acoustic music. However, in times when I'm down I like louder, more intense music. And sometimes, I can't resist rocking out to some classical music. Music fits my mood, sets my mood, and accompanies me wherever I go.

Here's a list of some favorites:

Kairos music:
OneRepublic
Ray LaMontagne
Relient K
Superchick
Shawn McDonald

Musical soundtracks:
Next to Normal
Phantom of the Opera
Rent
Spring Awakening
Wicked <--fun fact, this musical was also my Bat Mitzvah theme!

Pandora playlists:
Glen Hansard
Joshua Radin
Missy Higgins
Owl City
Secondhand Serenade


Without music, life would be an error. 
Friedrich Nietzsche

Dare You To Move

Recommended listening: Dare You To Move by Switchfoot
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I have little to no idea where I will be one year from now.
In 365 days I could be scurrying to class, head down, as snow whirls around me and the lake glistens in the distance. I could be living with my best friend and enjoying the comfort of having my brother just down the block. I could be a couple hours away from home, reaping the benefits of one of the best Psychology programs in the country.
In 365 days I could be strolling to class wearing a T-shirt, enjoying studying in the sun and eating by the river. I could be living with a stranger. I could be hundreds of miles away from home, reaping the benefits of a new, diverse location and impeccable double-major opportunities.
Or, I could be doing something completely different in an entirely unknown place.

It's officially second semester my senior year, and by May 1st I will be committed to the academic institution of my choosing (given that they already chose me). I know that I am incredibly fortunate to have the opportunity to succeed, study subjects I am passionate about, and explore and grow as a person. I am consoled by the fact that, at whichever college I select, I will have the chance to achieve.
However, the comfort is short-lived. I would be lying if I said that my anxiety about the future isn't always bubbling in the back of my mind. One primary element of my struggle to cope with the uncertainty is that fact that, not only am I unsure of what the future holds, I am unsure of who I will be when the future arrives.

What has defined me?
My home. My family. My friends. My school. My hobbies. My outlook. My past experiences.
The list goes on and on. The bottom line is that, up to this point, who I am has simply accumulated over time. I have always lived in the same town surrounded by the same people and participated in the same activites. Although there have certainly been unexpected shifts throughout my life, the other constants have helped me move forward. My fear is that, once I'm finally on my own, the sudden change to everything around me will be too much to handle.

What will define me?
Once I do get to college, all I will have is myself. The moment I fear most is when my parents have to leave my dorm room and I'm just left there -- alone. At that point in time, my identity will be all I have to hold on to. As I get settled in college, the consistancy will come from within myself as I pan out my plan. From my identity, the reality of my future will be shaped.

To my wonderful readers...
For those of you who have moved on to that next big step, what did you learn about yourself? What aspects of your identity have you held on to the most?
For those of you who are contemplating what's next, are your anxieties similar to mine? How are you going to decide?


The best thing about the future is that it comes only one day at a time.
Abraham Lincoln

We Live

Recommended listening: We Live by Superchick
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A few months ago I wrote a blog post titled Take My Hand in which I touched upon the impact of religion on identity. This topic is something that is frequently at the forefront of my thinking because G-d plays a unique role in my life and I often think of the construct of organized religion. At any rate, today in class religion came up in a new way. After extensively discussing the State of the Union speech made on Tuesday, the conversation shifted to President George W. Bush and his religious views. One student brought up the fact that Bush's overt expression of faith was concerning. The frequency with which Bush openly relied on G-d for guidance made him uneasy. In response to this, several other students noted the positive impact Bush's religion had on him and his supporters. Hours later, this has me thinking outside of simply the political realm. I've begun to wonder, to what extent does religion shape us and the way we look at others?
I guess this is an idea that has been brewing for quite some time. I also touched on our perception of others, specifically Muslim women, in my post Blue Eyes. Of course, this question is by no means unique to me. Everyone questions their own spirituality and faith, but I think it is also integral to begin to think of the faith of others, how we react to it, and how that influences our interactions.


My Faith
Organized religion is not for me. I understand the appeal. I see the value in congregating with like-minded people and worshiping together. I have been disillusioned with it, however, because I grew up going to Hebrew school and attending synagogue services. I never felt connected to it. Perhaps this was because my family is more ethnically Jewish, or because I don't speak Hebrew, or simply because at the time religion didn't concern me. For whatever reason, I never cared for gathering together and reading a text which dictated how I should behave and what I could not do. Throughout high school I have been surrounded by a group of intelligent students, many of which think religion is absolute nonsense and that G-d is a figment of our imagination. So I brushed off spirituality and it was not a component of my identity whatsoever.
However, last year I went on a religious retreat called Kairos. At this retreat I was able to finally distinguish between religion and spirituality. From that point on I have embraced spirituality and my relationship with G-d despite it's non-conventional nature. As a result of the fluctuations along my spiritual journey, I consider myself to be very open minded of others. At this point in time I consider myself Jewish in the sense that I celebrate Jewish holidays and embrace the traditions and customs of my ancestors. I also participate in the Youth Ministry program at my local Catholic Church, where I lead retreats, participate in community service, and discuss openly the role of G-d in my life. Additionally, I wear a very open symbol of my spirituality, my Kairos necklace, every single day. All these components together make up my faith.


The "Other"
In my English class we also frequently discuss the "us" vs. "them" dichotomy. I feel this idea plays a critical role in many religious and ideological conflicts. Looking inward, our religion, or lack thereof, makes sense to us. We accept and firmly believe in the doctrines we subscribe to and the morals we hold dear. However, I think we often forget that everyone else is the same way. The same complexity and thought we have put in to our faith is, for the most part, put into the spirituality of others. Before we can pick apart the religious views and expressions of others (which I, for the record, never recommend doing) we must, at the very least, acknowledge the fact that they have gone through a process to get there and that their beliefs make sense to them.
At the end of the day, I think the way in which we approach other people's religions and beliefs is just as important as the way we approach our own. If we believe in loving our neighbors, the best way to begin to do that is to love them for what they believe in, whether or not we agree with them.


When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others.
Peace Pilgrim

Build G-d, Then We'll Talk

Recommended listening: Build G-d, Then We'll Talk by Panic! At the Disco


*warning: The above video and the below book would likely be rated R. Although their content may be disturbing, such inappropriate elements contribute to their content and meaning.


What I've been up to...
One of the joys of time off from school is getting the chance to do things purely for leisurely purposes, rather than for class or college. The first week of winter break I had the privilege of going to Mexico with my family. While my brothers played cards and enjoyed some of the nightlife, I spent most of my time reading. I relish vacations because there are few things in life as magnificent as relaxing at the beach and being totally consumed by a good book. This trip I finished two novels, Tricks by Ellen Hopkins and Firefly Lane by Kristin Hannah, and I'm still reading Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi.
While I highly recommend all of these titles, the book I would like to focus on for this post is Tricks. In the spirit of an honest review, I will certainly try my best to be as objective as possible. However, you should be warned that Ellen Hopkins is my favorite author of all time.

Style
At any rate, Tricks is written in verse, as are all of her books. I am a huge fan of poetry, I've always loved both reading and writing, but I firmly believe that even those who deem themselves as poetry illiterate or claim to dislike anything other than prose will find that Hopkins has a unique, gripping style.


This specific book is Hopkins' take on the staggering amount of teen prostitution in the United States.


Characters
The book is narrated in third person and follows the lives of five teenagers whose paths eventually cross, and the role "tricks" play in their lives. One of the greatest strengths in this book is the authenticity of all five main characters. Their voices are each so genuine and unique. Although each of them is somehow touched by the issue of turning tricks, their perspectives still differ.
For example, Ginger's mother is a prostitute. Therefore, when faced with the problem of teen prostitution in her own life, Ginger is avidly opposed to it and completely disgusted with those who subject themselves to such a life.
By contrast, there is Cody who is a nice, "All-American" kid -- someone who never thought twice about the world of tricks. I don't want to spoil the book, but let me just say that he does far more than a 180 and where he ends up is both surprising and haunting.
As someone who focuses a lot on identity, it was very interesting to realize how many different traits the characters had and how their perspectives were shaped by their personal varying experiences.


Concept
Outside of compelling characters, I appreciate Hopkins' work in this book because she is able to bring an issue to life. She makes her commentary by giving multiple angles on the issue, and giving it depth. She doesn't pretend anything is black and white or simple. The depth of the characters and their struggles puts the reader in a position where they are both perplexed and compelled to address it. In many ways, this book is downright disturbing. The world I fell into while reading was ugly and difficult to comprehend, but Hopkins made me really understand and empathize with a lot of what is going on as we speak. Although the book is a work of fiction, unfortunately none of the stories are far-fetched whatsoever. The statistics are staggering, and if for no other reason, I believe people should read this book in order to get a glimpse into the hell that is daily life for so many teens right here at home.


Critique 
The ending.
That's exactly what it was like, it just ended. I should have realized that around page 600 the end wasn't far away, but I read the final poem over and over, in complete disbelief. Although I was disappointed with the lack of resolution and the plethora of questions I still had, I have no doubt that this was an intentional move. I wasn't expecting a happy, cookie-cutter ending, but the fact that I knew hardly anything about where the characters were heading and what was coming next in their lives was unsettling. I believe this was Hopkins' goal though. Like the ending, the problem of teen prostitution hasn't necessarily been answered yet. And, like the characters, those truly struggling don't know what tomorrow holds.


Overall
Ultimately, I really enjoyed this book. It isn't my favorite Hopkins piece, (for that I would recommend Identical) but I certainly was not disappointed. I appreciated this novel because the verse was spot-on, the concept was riveting, and the characters had depth and beauty. As someone who likes to focus and question identity, the characters definitely didn't let me down!
*This is also a great review I would recommend checking out if you'd like an opinion other than just my own.


Sooner or later someone you could not have ever dreamed of appears like a rainbow, bridging clouds, and steals your breath away. Someone beautiful, inside and out, grabs hold of your hand, guides you along a rarely traveled road, to a place where your broken heart can be mended, pieceby beating piece. The cost, gratefully afforded, is only your love. 
Tricks, Ellen Hopkins

Blue Eyes

Recommended listening: Blue Eyes by Mika
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In Social Studies we have been learning about the Islamic Revolution in Iran. In English we watched the movie Persepolis and we are now reading Reading Lolita in Tehran by Azar Nafisi. In both memoirs there is a lot of discussion about the veil. Listening to the perspective of Islamic women on the veil has been both interesting and confusing in many ways. I personally do not know what it's like to be mandated to wear a uniform or anything religious whatsoever. I also don't know what it's like to be told I cannot leave my house looking a certain way. At the beginning of this unit it was difficult for me to even gauge the impact of veiling on identity because it was such a foreign idea to me.

At this point, there are two struggles for me.
1) How does one differentiate between the religious significance of the veil and the political implications that have come with mandating, or forbidding, the veil?
2) On a broader scale, how does our dress impact who we are?

As for question number one, although it's been percolating in my mind since the beginning of our unit, today something finally struck me. As I was observing a fishbowl discussion one of my classmates pointed to this quote from Reading Lolita in Tehran: (ch 33, Part III James)

"Mommy, Mommy, he [Khomeini] is not dead! Women are still wearing their scarves," (Nafisi, 242).

The above quotation is, from my perspective, the epitome of the veil being worn as a symbol of politics rather than spirituality. In this setting, the regime has dictated how women must dress. I feel that any sort of strict regulation on dress stifles one's true self. If you cannot make your own decisions about what to wear, part of who you are and how you express yourself is being robbed from you.

This realization leads me into my second question, which I ask to all of you. Although most of my readers probably have never dealt with veil regulations of any sort, what would limiting your dress do to your identity?
I think there is so much to unpack here. How does limiting how we express ourselves on a spiritual level impact our spirituality? How does our overall dress define who we are?

I plan to do a follow-up post as I think more about these questions, and I welcome your insights as I shape my views on these concepts.

We can no more do without spirituality than we can do without food, shelter, or clothing.
Ernest Holmest

Everybody

Recommended listening: Everybody by Ingrid Michaelson
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One word that has come up a lot in my life lately is empathy. In English the concept of empathy has been discussed through the memoir we're reading. In my Psychology class we have discussed empathy through the manifestation of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, a personality disorder characterized by lack of empathy. And then, in my life outside of academics, I have certainly noticed empathy at play. I recently had the privilege of leading a religious retreat called Kairos (previously referred to in my post Take My Hand) where the empathy, compassion, and love shared between participants was boundless. Outside of that, those who know me would certainly say I have a strong sense of empathy. In fact, I often joke that I have an "overactive empathy gland" because I cry so much in response to anything from the emotions of those around me to fictitious events portrayed in film.

The Basics
All of the recent talk about empathy has led to a significant amount of rumination and ultimately, this post. First and foremost, certain ideas must be sorted out. When I was younger I had a problem differentiating between sympathy and empathy. After establishing the definition of empathy, it is then essential to note situations in which people commonly feel empathy. I believe, as do other sources, that the root of empathy lies in common ground on the wide spectrum of human feelings and experiences. A few common threads that many share are: loss, love, faith, happiness, desire, friendship, pressure, and disappointment. I would argue that, to some extent, most people have felt or gone through almost all of the above. This similarity helps to establish the framework for empathy in more specific situations.

Results of Empathy
Empathy, in my opinion, certainly has its advantages. For example, those who are able to feel empathy towards others typically have successful, caring relationships where communication about emotions is prevalent. On the flip side, when one is personally struggling with something, the empathy of others is often integral in dealing with the issue and feeling supported. This is perhaps why people who have trouble with empathy also have difficulty interacting with others and establishing deep relationships. Personally I have found my ability to feel empathy has helped me reach out, help, and guide people. I also feel empathy is one of the core reasons I am able to connect with those around me, despite superficial differences.

A Look Within
So we know that empathy impacts our interactions with those around us, but what does empathy do to us? How does our ability, or inability, to feel empathy impact who we are?
I think empathy primarily impacts our identity in the sense that it plays a role in both how those around us perceive us and how we perceive ourselves. If we have a strong sense of empathy then we are often characterized as more emotional people. Those who lack empathy may be seen as colder or having feelings that are buried far below the surface. Our capacity for empathy then sheds light on our personality as a whole and the way in which we approach feelings.

As for me...
There are certainly times when I wish I didn't feel empathy so strongly. For instance, it's never fun being the one person whose sniffles echo through the room or surprising people with my excitement or tears of joy on their behalf. However, I am starting to recognize that not only is there nothing to be ashamed of, but that my approach to connecting to others is a critical part of who I am. I believe my sense of empathy has shaped how other people perceive me as well as how I perceive myself. I think that people come to me for advice because they know that, on some level, I can relate to what they are going through. I think that people see me as a genuine person because I don't hide my empathy. And, because I do feel for others so deeply, I have discovered my passion for psychology. Although in some ways I'm concerned that I have too much empathy to provide adequate therapy, I know that the degree to which I feel empathy is part of who I am and will certainly shape my future.


The great gift of human beings is that we have the power of empathy. 
Meryl Streep