I'll Cover You

Recommended listening: I'll Cover You from Rent
_______________________________________________________________


Today my high school participated in The Day of Silence. Sponsored by GLSEN, the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network, the National Day of Silence is a day of action in which students across the country take some form of a vow of silence to call attention to the silencing effect of anti-LGBT bullying and harassment in schools. Through their activities students can speak out against harassment and organize for change for their schools and communities. 


My Day of Silence
Today, I had the privilege of taking part in The Day of Silence for the 5th or 6th time. When the bell rang I found myself donning a purple shirt that begged the question, "What will YOU do to end the silence?" However initially, there was nothing anyone could do because my entire carpool was supporting The Day of Silence.
As I went throughout my school day, I was faced with a new reality. Although I am not a novice by any means when it comes to The Day of Silence, for some reason this year I found it truly resonated with me. I think my Social Studies teacher set a good, meaningful preface for the event by asking all students who planned to participate to prepare a statement to be read aloud (by someone else, of course) on the DoS. The few statements read aloud in class today by my peers were far more touching than I can convey in a blogpost, or to anyone who was not in the room.
Throughout the rest of the day I continued to think about my DoS; the strange way people assumed I could no longer hear because I was silent, the obnoxious manner in which some students tried to make me talk and break the silence, and the beautifully supportive attitude so many people had towards me. This day has left me with mixed feelings, to say the least. On one hand, it was incredible to see the love and respect that so many people have for the LGBT community. Yet, on the other hand, the pervasive ignorance and hostility I continued to see disgust me.

A Voice
Clearly, and quietly, the DoS exemplifies the importance of having a voice. Fortunately, I am quite out-spoken. I have the good fortune of being passionate about my views and ideas, and caring very little about those dismiss of them. At times this makes me stubborn, but in most cases this makes me strong. Whether it's for LGBT rights, or the environment, or your loved ones, or whatever else moves you -- you must stand for something. 
Obviously, your views and values ignite a fire within you that can dominate and drive who you are. It varies from person to person, but you certainly have little to offer yourself or others if you do not care about anything.
So it's simple. Today was a day to take action, silently, but it spoke volumes. Our objective, no matter who we are, is to do the same.


Questions to Consider

• What is a cause you are passionate about? Why? [Or, if there isn't any such cause, why not?]
• How do your strongest convictions play into your daily life? Your identity as a whole? The way you describe yourself?
• Who or what has influenced you to stand up for whatever you believe in?

No government has the right to tell its citizens when or whom to love. The only queer people are those who don't love anybody.
Rita Mae Brown

Anthem

Recommended listening: Anthem by Superchick
___________________________________________________________________

Hamlet
I just finished reading the play Hamlet by William Shakespeare. What made my experience of this text unique was that we read it by focusing on different critical approaches. One of the approaches which is strongly tied to Hamlet is the feminist approach. There are unique, dynamic and mysterious female characters that, despite having a limited number of lines, play a critical role in Shakespeare's Hamlet. By analyzing Ophelia and Gertrude, which I continue to do even after reading the play, I've really become enticed by the feminist approach.

One specific question that feminist critics ask that really sticks out to me is: How is the work "gendered"? That is, how does it seem to define femininity and masculinity? Which, of course, got me thinking about gender roles in my own life and how they shape identity.

Today's Society
Society, in many ways, is so deeply embedded with norms that it can be difficult to realize how they permeate our identity. When first studying the ideas of feminist critics I thought that they were hardly applicable in my life. I thought that, for the most part, I have been in complete control of my growth and identity. If I wanted to do something "manly" I would have no problem doing so. However, taking a closer look, there is practically no way to be immune to gender stereotypes and expectations without some sort of backlash.
I think one way that the differences between genders is clear today would be in terms of relationships. When dating, guys are often expected to pay, make decisions, and take control. They are supposed to "wear the pants", a common phrase used to express whomever is more masculine in a relationship.
By the same token, females are expected to be more submissive and obedient. When the roles are switched and the male seems to be the more obedient and submissive one he is deemed "whipped".
Our society is still very gendered in the respect that a stay-at-home parent is often expected to be the mother, whereas the primary source of income is "supposed" to be the man.
Then, of course, in terms of homosexual relationships gender plays quite a different role. I can't quite speak to that though.

My Life
I wouldn't consider myself very girly or manly, I just see myself as me. I don't doubt that gender roles and expectations, however, have shaped my understanding of Self. Sometimes I enjoy dressing up and getting all dolled-up as many females are expected to do. However, I typically prefer just chilling in sweats not caring at all about my appearance. I certainly do not enjoy or partake in cooking or cleaning of any sort. Which, by many standards, is perhaps my only purpose outside of childbearing.
I think that, in some ways, it is easier to be a woman and deal with gender expectations. If I choose to be sensitive and cry, as I did yesterday in Spanish class while watching Voces Inocentes, I am free to do so. If I choose to play sports or pig out with friends I may be considered "one of the guys" but that's about it. For boys, however, when they choose to behave in a more "feminine" manner, preferring to shop rather than play video games, their sexuality often comes into question. Personally, I think that occurs more often when boys act "girly" rather than when girls act "manly".

Have you felt that common ideas of femininity or masculinity have shaped your decision making? How does the feminist criticism play out in your life or in the texts you read?
_________________________________________________________________

Rather than a quote for this post, here is a heuristic activity we did in my psychology class. Read it and think about it before scrolling down for the answer.

A father and his son are driving on a highway and get into a terrible accident. The father dies, and the boy is rushed to the hospital with major injuries. When he gets to the hospital, a surgeon rushes in to help the boy but stops and exclaims, “I can’t operate on this boy—he’s my son!” 
How can this be? 

Some girls and I after our Honors Gym 60 minute run.

If people have a hard time answering, they may be making a false assumption. The surgeon is the boy’s mother.

Hold On

Recommended listening: Hold On by Good Charlotte

_________________________________________________

As I walk down the hallways it is common to hear a conversation similar to the following:
"Hey man, what's up?"
"Oh, not much, just studying for this gay test Friday."
"Yeah man, bummer."
And, with that, the kids go on there way as if nothing at all has transpired.

To me, this is cause for alarm. People throw around the word gay, and even more potentially offensive terms, with little to no regard for the repercussions. In today's world, especially that of the youth, the word gay has come to mean lame or stupid.
The transformation of the word gay is on the minds of many and plays an integral role in our daily lives. Other bloggers have noticed the shift in our colloquial use of gay. This blog explores the origins of the word gay and how the label has developed over time. This blog identifies the same issues I raise, however the blogger claims that there is really no trouble or substantial harm in the evolution of the word gay. I beg to differ.
On Sept. 22, Tyler Clementi's Facebook status simply read, “Jumping off the gw bridge sorry.”

According to The New York Times, Clementi committed suicide after footage of him involved in a sexual encounter with another male aired on the Internet. Two of his Rutgers University classmates are currently being charged with invasion of privacy. Similar incidents have been increasing in frequency with six* teen suicides due to homophobic bullying reported in September.
Here, I believe the ramifications of certain attitudes and phobias related to homosexuals are apparent. Although I am by no means insinuating that someone using the word "gay" out of context drove Clementi to suicide, I do believe that the way our culture has shaped the word gay contributes to the rampant surge of homophobia that seems to be sweeping the nation.

So, what's next?

I think the best option is to start within. So many of us are guilty of throwing around the word gay out of context. The consequences of such word choice are legitimate and significant. Once we start monitoring ourselves and those around us we have a chance at changing the way we shape the evolution of the word gay. The bottom line is this: no one should have to deal with their identity being associated with such negative connotations. Being gay shapes the lives of many, but the negative connotations the word "gay" has accumulated are unnecessary in shaping the identity of gay individuals as well as the identity of our society as a whole.

Everybody's journey is individual. If you fall in love with a boy, you fall in love with a boy. The fact that many Americans consider it a disease says more about them than it does about homosexuality.
James Baldwin

*Six Teen Suicides in September:
Billy Lucas: Sept. 9
Cody J. Barker: Sept. 13
Seth Walsh: Sept. 19
Asher Brown: Sept. 23
Raymond Chase: Sept. 29

*movement in response to the increase in frequency of teen suicides: It Gets Better Project

*much of this also applies to the word retarded