I'll Cover You

Recommended listening: I'll Cover You from Rent
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Today my high school participated in The Day of Silence. Sponsored by GLSEN, the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network, the National Day of Silence is a day of action in which students across the country take some form of a vow of silence to call attention to the silencing effect of anti-LGBT bullying and harassment in schools. Through their activities students can speak out against harassment and organize for change for their schools and communities. 


My Day of Silence
Today, I had the privilege of taking part in The Day of Silence for the 5th or 6th time. When the bell rang I found myself donning a purple shirt that begged the question, "What will YOU do to end the silence?" However initially, there was nothing anyone could do because my entire carpool was supporting The Day of Silence.
As I went throughout my school day, I was faced with a new reality. Although I am not a novice by any means when it comes to The Day of Silence, for some reason this year I found it truly resonated with me. I think my Social Studies teacher set a good, meaningful preface for the event by asking all students who planned to participate to prepare a statement to be read aloud (by someone else, of course) on the DoS. The few statements read aloud in class today by my peers were far more touching than I can convey in a blogpost, or to anyone who was not in the room.
Throughout the rest of the day I continued to think about my DoS; the strange way people assumed I could no longer hear because I was silent, the obnoxious manner in which some students tried to make me talk and break the silence, and the beautifully supportive attitude so many people had towards me. This day has left me with mixed feelings, to say the least. On one hand, it was incredible to see the love and respect that so many people have for the LGBT community. Yet, on the other hand, the pervasive ignorance and hostility I continued to see disgust me.

A Voice
Clearly, and quietly, the DoS exemplifies the importance of having a voice. Fortunately, I am quite out-spoken. I have the good fortune of being passionate about my views and ideas, and caring very little about those dismiss of them. At times this makes me stubborn, but in most cases this makes me strong. Whether it's for LGBT rights, or the environment, or your loved ones, or whatever else moves you -- you must stand for something. 
Obviously, your views and values ignite a fire within you that can dominate and drive who you are. It varies from person to person, but you certainly have little to offer yourself or others if you do not care about anything.
So it's simple. Today was a day to take action, silently, but it spoke volumes. Our objective, no matter who we are, is to do the same.


Questions to Consider

• What is a cause you are passionate about? Why? [Or, if there isn't any such cause, why not?]
• How do your strongest convictions play into your daily life? Your identity as a whole? The way you describe yourself?
• Who or what has influenced you to stand up for whatever you believe in?

No government has the right to tell its citizens when or whom to love. The only queer people are those who don't love anybody.
Rita Mae Brown

Anthem

Recommended listening: Anthem by Superchick
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Hamlet
I just finished reading the play Hamlet by William Shakespeare. What made my experience of this text unique was that we read it by focusing on different critical approaches. One of the approaches which is strongly tied to Hamlet is the feminist approach. There are unique, dynamic and mysterious female characters that, despite having a limited number of lines, play a critical role in Shakespeare's Hamlet. By analyzing Ophelia and Gertrude, which I continue to do even after reading the play, I've really become enticed by the feminist approach.

One specific question that feminist critics ask that really sticks out to me is: How is the work "gendered"? That is, how does it seem to define femininity and masculinity? Which, of course, got me thinking about gender roles in my own life and how they shape identity.

Today's Society
Society, in many ways, is so deeply embedded with norms that it can be difficult to realize how they permeate our identity. When first studying the ideas of feminist critics I thought that they were hardly applicable in my life. I thought that, for the most part, I have been in complete control of my growth and identity. If I wanted to do something "manly" I would have no problem doing so. However, taking a closer look, there is practically no way to be immune to gender stereotypes and expectations without some sort of backlash.
I think one way that the differences between genders is clear today would be in terms of relationships. When dating, guys are often expected to pay, make decisions, and take control. They are supposed to "wear the pants", a common phrase used to express whomever is more masculine in a relationship.
By the same token, females are expected to be more submissive and obedient. When the roles are switched and the male seems to be the more obedient and submissive one he is deemed "whipped".
Our society is still very gendered in the respect that a stay-at-home parent is often expected to be the mother, whereas the primary source of income is "supposed" to be the man.
Then, of course, in terms of homosexual relationships gender plays quite a different role. I can't quite speak to that though.

My Life
I wouldn't consider myself very girly or manly, I just see myself as me. I don't doubt that gender roles and expectations, however, have shaped my understanding of Self. Sometimes I enjoy dressing up and getting all dolled-up as many females are expected to do. However, I typically prefer just chilling in sweats not caring at all about my appearance. I certainly do not enjoy or partake in cooking or cleaning of any sort. Which, by many standards, is perhaps my only purpose outside of childbearing.
I think that, in some ways, it is easier to be a woman and deal with gender expectations. If I choose to be sensitive and cry, as I did yesterday in Spanish class while watching Voces Inocentes, I am free to do so. If I choose to play sports or pig out with friends I may be considered "one of the guys" but that's about it. For boys, however, when they choose to behave in a more "feminine" manner, preferring to shop rather than play video games, their sexuality often comes into question. Personally, I think that occurs more often when boys act "girly" rather than when girls act "manly".

Have you felt that common ideas of femininity or masculinity have shaped your decision making? How does the feminist criticism play out in your life or in the texts you read?
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Rather than a quote for this post, here is a heuristic activity we did in my psychology class. Read it and think about it before scrolling down for the answer.

A father and his son are driving on a highway and get into a terrible accident. The father dies, and the boy is rushed to the hospital with major injuries. When he gets to the hospital, a surgeon rushes in to help the boy but stops and exclaims, “I can’t operate on this boy—he’s my son!” 
How can this be? 

Some girls and I after our Honors Gym 60 minute run.

If people have a hard time answering, they may be making a false assumption. The surgeon is the boy’s mother.

Build G-d, Then We'll Talk

Recommended listening: Build G-d, Then We'll Talk by Panic! At the Disco


*warning: The above video and the below book would likely be rated R. Although their content may be disturbing, such inappropriate elements contribute to their content and meaning.


What I've been up to...
One of the joys of time off from school is getting the chance to do things purely for leisurely purposes, rather than for class or college. The first week of winter break I had the privilege of going to Mexico with my family. While my brothers played cards and enjoyed some of the nightlife, I spent most of my time reading. I relish vacations because there are few things in life as magnificent as relaxing at the beach and being totally consumed by a good book. This trip I finished two novels, Tricks by Ellen Hopkins and Firefly Lane by Kristin Hannah, and I'm still reading Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi.
While I highly recommend all of these titles, the book I would like to focus on for this post is Tricks. In the spirit of an honest review, I will certainly try my best to be as objective as possible. However, you should be warned that Ellen Hopkins is my favorite author of all time.

Style
At any rate, Tricks is written in verse, as are all of her books. I am a huge fan of poetry, I've always loved both reading and writing, but I firmly believe that even those who deem themselves as poetry illiterate or claim to dislike anything other than prose will find that Hopkins has a unique, gripping style.


This specific book is Hopkins' take on the staggering amount of teen prostitution in the United States.


Characters
The book is narrated in third person and follows the lives of five teenagers whose paths eventually cross, and the role "tricks" play in their lives. One of the greatest strengths in this book is the authenticity of all five main characters. Their voices are each so genuine and unique. Although each of them is somehow touched by the issue of turning tricks, their perspectives still differ.
For example, Ginger's mother is a prostitute. Therefore, when faced with the problem of teen prostitution in her own life, Ginger is avidly opposed to it and completely disgusted with those who subject themselves to such a life.
By contrast, there is Cody who is a nice, "All-American" kid -- someone who never thought twice about the world of tricks. I don't want to spoil the book, but let me just say that he does far more than a 180 and where he ends up is both surprising and haunting.
As someone who focuses a lot on identity, it was very interesting to realize how many different traits the characters had and how their perspectives were shaped by their personal varying experiences.


Concept
Outside of compelling characters, I appreciate Hopkins' work in this book because she is able to bring an issue to life. She makes her commentary by giving multiple angles on the issue, and giving it depth. She doesn't pretend anything is black and white or simple. The depth of the characters and their struggles puts the reader in a position where they are both perplexed and compelled to address it. In many ways, this book is downright disturbing. The world I fell into while reading was ugly and difficult to comprehend, but Hopkins made me really understand and empathize with a lot of what is going on as we speak. Although the book is a work of fiction, unfortunately none of the stories are far-fetched whatsoever. The statistics are staggering, and if for no other reason, I believe people should read this book in order to get a glimpse into the hell that is daily life for so many teens right here at home.


Critique 
The ending.
That's exactly what it was like, it just ended. I should have realized that around page 600 the end wasn't far away, but I read the final poem over and over, in complete disbelief. Although I was disappointed with the lack of resolution and the plethora of questions I still had, I have no doubt that this was an intentional move. I wasn't expecting a happy, cookie-cutter ending, but the fact that I knew hardly anything about where the characters were heading and what was coming next in their lives was unsettling. I believe this was Hopkins' goal though. Like the ending, the problem of teen prostitution hasn't necessarily been answered yet. And, like the characters, those truly struggling don't know what tomorrow holds.


Overall
Ultimately, I really enjoyed this book. It isn't my favorite Hopkins piece, (for that I would recommend Identical) but I certainly was not disappointed. I appreciated this novel because the verse was spot-on, the concept was riveting, and the characters had depth and beauty. As someone who likes to focus and question identity, the characters definitely didn't let me down!
*This is also a great review I would recommend checking out if you'd like an opinion other than just my own.


Sooner or later someone you could not have ever dreamed of appears like a rainbow, bridging clouds, and steals your breath away. Someone beautiful, inside and out, grabs hold of your hand, guides you along a rarely traveled road, to a place where your broken heart can be mended, pieceby beating piece. The cost, gratefully afforded, is only your love. 
Tricks, Ellen Hopkins